I get a weird feeling every time I’m home, and it gets a little weirder every time.
I am now home for the first time in three months.
I have so many friends here in Lodi that I will catch up with this week. These friends have grown up with me. They have seen different stages of me from many perspectives. They know about things in my past that make me act certain ways now because they experienced them with me.
And I have so many friends at school. They also know me well. I have grown so much this past year and a half; in a lot of ways I am a very different person now. These friends know the new Logan; the Logan that I am now.
My old friends can see that I have changed, but they didn’t watch the changes. My new friends know who I am now, but they have only heard about who I was.
There are two parts of me, one on each end of California. It’s just a little weird, and it will only get weirder. In January i will leave for Africa. After those four months, I will again be changed and return to my old friends.
It’s just strange that no one completely knows me. Everyone knows different sides of me. My friends only know what I have told them and what they have watched me do. There is so much left that only God can really know. There are so many odd, undefinable characteristics. As much as I want to, I can never really give myself to another person because there is more to me than just my words and actions.
