when i was at apu i wouldnt really miss my friends from lodi. now that they’re leaving again, i know im going to miss them a lot. and these past several weeks i have missed friends from apu a lot as well.
missing everyone has been very reassuring for me.
i almost never miss people when im away from them. as long as i have a few friends and a mentor type person, I’m just fine. I often dehumanize the people i have relationships with. i won’t really value the individual, i will only value the role they are filling in my life. i’ve had many worried conversations about my tendency to do this, and i dont think its a very normal tendency for people to have. I think its largely due to a relationship that ended well over a year ago. for two years this girl was the most important person to me and i talked to her about everything. then we broke up and she suddenly went to meaning nothing to me. so i guess i just got really good at making due without people.
so, this summer was finally different, and i’ve really enjoyed missing people.
